-Coldplay
I find it funny how sometimes song lyrics describe just the thing that you are attempting to say. The lyric above pretty much says exactly what I am going to spend the next few minutes attempting to elaborate on, so if you hate me or just don't have time to read on, there you have it. All right, on I ramble.
I spent Thanksgiving in Chicago, chowing down on the traditional Thanksgiving fare and attempting to keep my ears from freezing off of my blond little head. Chicago is such a fantastically interesting city, with buildings as tall as mountains, art that can amaze and mystify at the same time, and every kind of person imaginable. And all of this is bundled into a few square miles, many of which I traversed with my sister and a few friends that I have in Chi-town (pronounced Chai town), the affectionate term for Chicago. For those who are trying to guess the names of the friends that I met in Chicago, if you guessed Rochelle Comeaux, Melissa Johnson (The Red Stallion), and Katye Renz, you would be correct.
It is hard to describe what it is like being reunited with people that you were so close with just a few short months ago, but with whom you have not had much, if any, interaction with since. The people remained more-or-less the same, but the circumstances, the context, the interaction, is all different. Well, not completely different, but different enough to make me miss "the old days" something fierce. The interaction also brought up old memories. Good and fun memories for the most part, but also difficult memories. Memories of pain and rejection, memories of me running away from friendship when I should have attempted to seek redemption for it. These thoughts all reminded me of a quote from Stan Gaede's book, An Incomplete Guide to the Rest of Your Life. The story is about a man named John whose marriage to Jen was failing. Everyone around him told him to give it up, seek his own happiness, and try again fresh. Everyone except his friend Greg, who had this to say:
So what? You say, John, you don't think you could ever be completely happy with Jen. Well, so what? What makes you think your happiness is all that matters? Why isn't your word, your vow, more important than your happiness? Why isn't Jen more important than your satisfaction? And why, oh why, oh why...why in the world can't we live in discomfort any more these days? I mean, are we called to escape painful relationships or reclaim them? Are we supposed to flee hurting marriages or redeem them? Did Jesus say, throw off your cross and do your own thing or take up your cross and follow me?All right, so obviously the situation described in this passage is much different from what I am talking about, but take a second look. All of this can be related to other relationships as well. It really makes you take a second look at how you respond and react to those around you. How have you responded when things get hard in a friendship? When a friend does something that causes you pain? Do you run away? Shut down emotionally?
I know that most of the time I do a combination of things. To the person in question, I shut down emotionally. I may still correspond and act like things are okay, but they aren't. And I retreat inside myself. "Run away." What about when you are the one doing the hurting? What then? For me it is about the same thing. If I feel like I have betrayed someone or hurt someone, I tend to shy away from the person, worrying about how mad the person must be at me. Or how much I don't deserve forgiveness.
Are we called to escape painful relationships or to reclaim them? Is there even a question? Reclaim them for goodness sake! Damn our culture for telling me life is all about "my" feelings, "my" happiness, "my" fulfillment. How much better would life be if we didn't settle for broken relationships. If we all took time away from our pity parties and sucked up our pride to seek healing from our peers, our boyfriends or girlfriends, our fiances, our spouses. If you have been hurt by someone, seek her out and FORGIVE her. If you did the hurting, don't wait around for the person you hurt come around, actively seek him out and FORGIVE him. Because people are worth being reconciled to. And through seeking reconciliation from peers, perhaps we can learn something about what it means to be reconciled to Christ.
Because people are lovely. Even in brokenness. Even in Chicago.
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry, you don't know how lovely you are.
